How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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