found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
