She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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