Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
