last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
