i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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