I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
