Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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