dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
