Already got asked if we're dating
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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