I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
