I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
