Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
