remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
