I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
