Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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