On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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