I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
