I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you win again, gameday.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
