I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
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