Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
