i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
