She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
