I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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