I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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