You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
