Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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