If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
