Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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