I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
