oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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