I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
