so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
