google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
