i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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