the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
