No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
