dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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