sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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