sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
