remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
