Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
