well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
