I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Can I color on your dick again?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Randomize
