idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It's Friday. Sex?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
