Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
