Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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