Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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