she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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