I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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